Among the countless number of dating slangs invented by social media and Gen Z, ‘red flag’ and ‘green flag’ are possibly the only ones that people across all generations seem to have embraced without second-guessing. When it comes to dating advice, social media has become the go-to place for every person out there. But, does it really have to be this way, or should dating advice be taken from a place that is actually mature and trusted to give so? 

Popularly said, relationships are all lovey-dovey and pink when you are just in the first three months of it. The moment the timer runs down, you start to notice the flaws and the negatives that you once loved and boasted about to your friends. See, it’s not bad or uncommon to have flaws or negatives. Everyone does, and everyone tries to hide it. But what actually is bad is to have certain qualities that disrespect your partner or undermine their presence in your relationship, or as people might famously call them, ‘red flags’. 

So, how do you exactly identify the red flags and green flags in ‘your’ person early on or at the time when your thinking capabilities are all clouded with love? Here are some tips to avoid the ‘red flags’ early on and look for the ‘green flags’ right from the start: 

1. Lack of Respect for Personal Boundaries: This is a major red flag. Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you have to change your entire personality to accommodate the person you choose. A healthy relationship is all about respecting each other’s personal boundaries to explore, grow and reconnect with themselves. 

2. Controlling Behaviour: A major red flag alert. Relationship or love does not equal to ownership. Controlling behaviour is not just limited to raising voices or saying strict ‘no’ for a night out with friends. It is also often misguided as subtly questioning your career choice, friends, or even monitoring what you eat and what you do not. 

3. Inconsistent Communication: Replying to a text message in today’s time takes barely 10 seconds. So stop falling for people who often mask their disinterest as ‘I did not have time,’ ‘I do not use social media’, or ‘I was too busy to reply to you’. There are soldiers who spare time out in the middle of a literal war to speak to their partners (even if it is just for 5 minutes), so what reason do you have to settle for such a red flag? 

4. Good Listener: Not a red flag, but a major green one! Even a good listener needs a good listener at some point in life. When you speak to your partner, you must get personal guidance, feel understood, heard, and actually acknowledged through their actions rather than thinking, ‘I should have just kept quiet’ when you end the conversation. 

5. Responsible: Quite vague, we know. But a good partner is someone who owns up to their mistakes rather than denying them completely. Surely it must not have been their intention, but they would prioritise how it made you feel more than what their intention was. 

6. Support: Another green flag in a partner is the level of support they offer in your growth. It doesn’t really have to align with their ideas or opinions, but only with how much it matters to you. A truly supportive partner will never pull you down from things you truly want in life. 

Dating advice doesn’t have to be confusing (or from social media) when you know what to look for. Remember, love should never feel like a guessing game. If someone’s behaviour consistently raises doubts, trust your instincts. Those are red flags waving high in the air for a reason. Do not pull them down just because the moment feels too beautiful. Beautiful moments are fleeting and guarantee that your partner will stay through those. But what about the conflicting moments that make you feel unpredictable about their presence? Think about those, and when you find someone who listens, supports, and respects you, appreciate those green flags and nurture that connection.